Digital Dilemmas: Should I add my boss as a Facebook friend?

What do you do when the 'One new friend request' on Facebook is from a work colleague? silicon.com's Natasha Lomas deconstructs this Digital Dilemma…

It's the mother of digital conundrums: you log into your Facebook account and there's a friend request from a work colleague staring back at you.

It doesn't matter a fig whether the colleague in question is your boss or someone you dimly recall walking past in the hall on your way to the canteen. If they've sent you a friend request, make no mistake: they have you in the corner with your back against the wall.

In the days before social networking, there were few dilemmas on the to-add-or-not-to-add scale: work was work, niche pastimes like Facebook were up there with cultish hobbies such as enacting Dungeons & Dragons on muddy weekends in Epping Forest - and ne'er the twain would meet (nor wish to).

No longer.

Now Facebook, flu-like, is everywhere.

For some colleagues, every waking moment has to be posted on Facebook. These people will probably have a profile picture that incorporates last night's vodka marathon. Their late night exploits - depicted in gory detail online - are always water-cooler fodder.

With others - those sober-looking individuals who exist semi-invisibly on the fringes of the office - you might assume they're digitally non-existent. Don't get your hopes up. You've got a Facebook account, so will they.

Whether your colleagues are Facebook addicts or now-and-again social networkers, you're not safe from their friend requests. So how should you react when the inevitable happens?

Ignoring a friend request is simply not an option - it's just a snub by another name.

Put simply, you need a strategy - and here are some to consider:

1 - The ostrich
Action: Ignore every friend request from a work colleague, whether it's from the post boy or the CEO
Pros: It's fair
Cons: You'll feel the need to explain to everyone at work that you don't add any work colleagues, inventing some convoluted explanation why - which means they'll end up thinking you're a) a buffoon or b) have something to hide.
Result: Alienation.

2 - The pre-emptive strike
Action: Add every work colleague before they can add you
Pros: It's fair
Cons: If you forget to add someone they might think you're intentionally snubbing them. You're also putting all your colleagues into a situation you yourself were trying to avoid
Result: You're now the office Facebook stalker.

3 - The couldn't-care-less
Action: Add - or don't add - willy-nilly and as you so please
Pros: It seems easy
Cons: It won't be; before you know it you'll be spending agonising hours over-analysing every mouse click.
Result: A world of pain.

4 - The elitist
Action: Only add your boss, your boss' boss and anyone higher up the corporate food chain
Pros: No brain power required
Cons: At some point your superiors will see embarrassing pictures of you. Henceforth they will spend every meeting reminding you of your vodka marathon/Dungeons & Dragons weekend/ill thought-out fancy dress costume. Meanwhile, everyone else in the company will hate you for sucking up.
Result: It's time to look for a new job.

5 - The minimalist
Action: Pare your Facebook profile right down until it better resembles a dictionary definition
Pros: You've removed anything vaguely personal - so you can feel confident in adding anyone who wants to add you
Cons: Everyone will think you're boring. Or a buffoon with something to hide.
Result: You've defeated the whole purpose of social networking. Congratulations.

The unavoidable conclusion must be that, with Facebook, there is no way to avoid a fatal collision between your work life and your private life.

The answer? Delete your Facebook account. That's right: step away from the social network. Dump it and don't, whatever you do, look back.

Only when Facebook has been excised from your life can you sleep easy, safe in the knowledge you're beyond the reach of its digital molestations. However don't expect to keep abreast of office gossip. The grapevine is officially dead to you now - but at least you can clock off every day safe in the knowledge you're not on it.

Do you have a digital dilemma keeping you awake at night? Want a few pointers on business netiquette? Help is at hand - email editorial@silicon.com and the silicon.com team will scratch their collective heads on your behalf.