Updated: Your starter for ten - that BT menu in full...

But BT cancelled the shareholder shin-dig at the last minute, claiming that its agenda was being dictated by pesky journalists. Heaven forbid.

Nevertheless, we're determined not to let good work go to waste: the silicon.com newsdesk spent literally minutes this morning coming up with menu suggestions for the now-cancelled evening out. So here they are:

*The Indian Menu*
Starter - Poppadom Bonfield (a toasted flake in a deep vat of pickle)
Main course - Vallance vindaloo (a dismembered turkey in a VERY hot situation indeed. Caution: may make you YELL or even IGNITE)
Pudding - Halva share price

*The Chinese Menu*
Prawn Crackers - A flaky offering from a large group of brainless animals that quickly goes stale
Shark's fin soup - A once popular dish now more synonymous with the words 'endangered' and 'extinction'
Spring roll - BT heads to roll in the year's second season?

*The Japanese/Sushi Menu*
Squid - A slippery customer
Flounder - of course
Tamago - In fact, Sir Peter, you MUST go
Lamprey - Sucks the competition dry
(Please note: with fresh fish, depending on where you live in the country, quality, quantity and price can vary dramatically)

We know you can do better so send us your culinary delights by clicking on reader comments below. As an added bonus, the sender of the best comment of the month will win a PlayStation 2. So what are you waiting for?